Mr. Wanna Be 50 Shades

shutupgif

About two weeks ago, a guy on POF contacted me, he is 37, cute pics (over 2 years old).  He seemed normal in texts and was pushy for a phone call, so we finally talked and man, its like he forgot to take ADHD medicine.  He was loud, hyper, hard to get a word in and asked the most ridiculous questions. Lets begin with those:

* Are you bi sexual, if not, would you consider it?

* Ok since you aren’t into that would you tell me during sex what you would do with a girl?

big ang eye rollewgif

So, at this point it was getting comical and I think he read a little too much 50 shades when he started asking me amateur question about the BDSM world and he tried to come off as a pro — that’s when I asked him if he knew what a flogger and riding crop was. He didn’t have a clue – so I sent him pictures of those items and he told me “oh those are whips” and I corrected him. So he kept going on and on about BDSM, its like he memorized the 50 Shades book. So hilarious.

ropepicellen spatual

So later in the weekend my best friend and I were having dinner and I showed her a picture of him and she advised she talked to him like 2 years ago and agreed on the things I said about him.  So I told him he had talked to her in the past and he was freaking out I would stop talking to him because of her talking to him, they never met.  I talked to him for one more day.

He texted me while I was at church and I told him I would get back to him and that’s where it went crazy.  He stated he was catholic and he would go to my church with me.  I go to a Baptist church lol – he said it didn’t matter.  He was agreeable to everything.  He’s like a puppy dog. So, with that I never replied back to his last text.

I am finding this 50 Shades craze is really ruining the world of dating.  Everyone is an expert, hate to break this to you – this is a dangerous activity and you can get hurt.

grumpyno

Hello 1990 is on the phone……..

Yesterday I went to Sephora and I was playing the lipstick, I love Kat Von D’s colors, a little goth!!  So I was trying on this crazy color and one of the Sephora associates added I needed lip liner. I was kind of a jackass and laughed and said, “Lip line is so 1990.”   Needless to say she didn’t like that.  Sometimes, well all the time I have no filter.  I sometimes feel Joan River’s is living in my head.

badlipline1

In the late 90’s I worked as an Assistant Manager for Victoria’s Secret Beauty and went to make up training school for them and they were showing us lip liner, even then I thought it was pointless.  In rare cases it can look good, I said rare!

A girl I work with uses lip liner and when her lipstick wears off her liner is showing oh so tackily.  She doesn’t even need it, she has great lips!

the-rachel

The good thing out of the 90’s is the Rachel hair cut – I had it, I loved it, but see the lip liner here — UGH

Apparently Kylie Jenner states she didn’t get lip injections but used a lot of lip liner — what do you think?

liplinerkylie

Its possible, but they also look fatter – who knows.

I just want lip liner to go away!  Bye Felicia!

The Correct Way to Protest and Get Your Message Across

Yesterday, I was walking by the FCC and noticed some people putting up black cat cutouts in a small patch a grass next to the FCC, they also had several Grumpy Cat stuffed animals and funny signs.  They are calling for Net Neutrality.  I talked to them for a few minutes and told them this is the right way to get your message across.  No one was blocking traffic or burning down the town.  They used good humor and Grumpy Cat!!! Its a win – win!!  Here are some pictures:

good protest3 goodprotest goodprotest1 goodprotest2

This was awesome!!  They left after set up and when I was leaving for the day I noticed a lone grumpy cat stuffy, so I rescued it lol.

Beards, the good and the bad

Since I have been on these wonderful (sarcasm) dating sites, facial hair is back in force.  While some of its good, some of it is really bad.  Firefighters seem to be the worst offenders of them all for facial hair.  Lets start with the good:

photo 3 photo 4 photo 1 photo 2 Mat-Best-and-Tactical-Kitty men1 men2

You are welcome ladies — now those are acceptable forms of facial hair!!!

Now here are the awful and let me say the handlebar mustache is the firefighter favorite – EW

badfhair3 badfhair2 badfhair1

The soul patch is the stupidest thing I have ever seen, as well as the douche beard that is featured here, the thin line along the jaw screams “I have several white beaters, drive a jacked up truck and listen to Hank Williams”

Well Hello 2015, been waiting on you…………….

I was so glad to see 2014 leave, seriously one of the worst years of my life. An issue with work, I don’t care to discuss on this blog.  The worst part was the breakup with one of the coldest human beings on earth.  Two and half years I won’t get back. I am glad he moved back to Alabama, because I will never see him again ever.

Some good things did happen this year, found out who my real friends are and became best friends with someone who is like a sister I always wanted. Seriously, without her – Thanksgiving and Christmas would have been bad for me as those holidays typically are since both of my parents are in heaven. She also got my butt back into the gym doing Zumba and Body Combat – the inches are melting and the replacement of clothes is becoming a monthly thing. I am forever grateful to her!

So 2015 – I am not a resolution person – but here is a list of things I want to do:

* Visit Clearwater, Florida to see one of my brothers and old high school friends.

* Go to the San Diego and NYC Comic Cons dressed as Batgirl. NERD ALERT!!!

* Go to the beach as much as possible.

* Get my finances in order. Stop shopping for stupid crap.

That’s about it.

Happy New Year!!!

Tales From Plenty of Fish aka Plenty of Morons

Today, I was looking around POF and found a cutie, so I sent him a Hello.  As you will see in the conversation I am about to post, he starts with sex talk immediately, and you will see where I ask him if he wants a fling.

POFlol POFlol2

Ok seriously?  Not looking for a fling, but immediately asks me if I like my hair pulled. Girl! Bye!

An update on Mr. hottie – nothing really, we text from time to time, its going no where and he is a player anyway.  It is nice to know that I can attract hotness like that though 🙂

A Grumpy Little Christmas and Why

christmas-grumpy-cat-facebook-timeline-cover

My parents are both deceased, my father died 4 days after Christmas 2002.  I loath the holidays pretty much.  I have 2 older brothers that I really don’t have a relationship with, so my friends are my family for the most part.

Kay Warren, the wife of Pastor Rick Warren from Saddleback Church in Orange County, California wrote a pretty good article about how people should be mindful when sending Christmas cards out when someone has had a loss in their family. The Warren’s son committed son, I believe in the past two sons.  It took a toll on the entire family.  Here is a link to the full article, however I will highlight some key parts:

http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2014/december-web-only/kay-warren-stop-sending-cheery-christmas-cards.html

I used to be the girl who would buy at least 50 Christmas cards and send them out every year.  I don’t believe I have sent a grouping of cards in over 10 years. As a single girl, with no family, I cringe at everyone’s happy little families with kids – none of which I have.  It’s a fact of life, but its depressing as hell.

Ok back to Kay’s article:

When I opened the first batch of cards, shock washed over me. Photos of beautiful, happy, intact families cascaded onto my kitchen table. Most were accompanied by a greeting wishing me a joyous Christmas. Some had a signature and the message, “Hope you have a great Christmas.” Others included a standard family newsletter, listing the accomplishments, vacations, and delightful family moments that had filled their year. I grew astonished, then angry, as I realized that none of the cards mentioned that our precious Matthew had died violently six months earlier, leaving us definitely not having a joyous Christmas.

No one and I mean no one the following year after my father had died, had said anything to me about his passing.  First Christmas without was sad, he was in a better place, but I wanted to light all the cards on fire.

Last week I wrote about this experience on Facebook. I asked readers to consider sending a plain card to grieving families (instead of an obligatory “happy family” photo). “Tell them in a few words that you are aware of how painful Christmas can be and that you are praying for them,” I wrote. “Yes, it’s inconvenient—it will take more time than your rushed signature, and it will require entering into someone else’s loss, mourning, grief, and anger.”

I love this, but realistically is anyone going to do this – probably not.

My mother has been done 3.5 years and idiot people say “It will get better.” News Flash – it does NOT get better. Her death was more significant because we were so close.  We talked on the phone daily, sometimes 3 or 5 times. She loves Christmas and liked decorating. I will share a funny story of Christmas past.  I was probably in 4th grade, we lived in Clearwater, Florida at the time and she couldn’t find the box with the old ornaments in it.  She went out and bought these hideous apple ornaments.  I forgot what else the decoration were, but my dad and I were howling in laughter of these insanely hideous apples. I had to live with those apples for the next 10 years I think, I am estimating.  I gotta tell ya though, would give anything to have that moment again.

appletree

For the first time in years I bought a Christmas tree last year, my dream tree, white with red ornaments.  I didn’t put it up this year because I just wasn’t feeling it. No one understands it, I just refer to myself as Grumpy Cat or the Grinch. I wish people would take time to understand.  I know, my parents wouldn’t like seeing me like this, but this is how I handle it. I hope it gets better, but I just don’t know.

Here are more articles on grieving during the holidays that are good:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/beautiful-grief/201112/coping-grief-the-holidays

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/21st-century-aging/201210/grieving-and-the-holidays